Rush Valley
by AmyNChan
Summary: Part of a writing challenge between Fanatic24 and myself. What is an Ed to do when he is stuck in his least favorite place in Amesteris?


_**AmyNChan: Okay, it's Halloween... time's up...**_

_**Winry: What time? And it's been awhile since—**_

_**AmyNChan: I knooooow... But I got challenged to do a certain genre of FMA fic so now I'm gonna write it and hope I succeed!**_

_**Ed: And if you don't?**_

_**AmyNChan: Then at least I get to enjoy watching you suffer for a while. XD**_

_**Ed: WHAT?!**_

_**Winry: AmyChan doesn't own FMA or Brotherhood.**_

_**AmyNChan: Enjoy~!**_

_**Ed: WHAT IS THIS CHALLENGE ANY—**_

"IT'S TOO HOT!" a particularly whiny voice screeched as loudly as the train that happened to pull into the stop. Even the sign—which bore the name Rush Valley quite proudly—shook from the impact the owner of said voice received to his head.

"Ow… Winry, do you have to carry that damned—OW!" the blonde haired former alchemist exclaimed, nursing his twice beaten head. His wife, Winry Elric, stood tall with their two children standing to either side of her.

"We've _talked_ about that mouth of yours in front of the kids, Ed!" the automail mechanic stated with a huff, regarding her husband with no empathy whatsoever. Instead, she chose to cast her blue eyes around the bustling train station. "Now help me find Mr. Garfiel. He said he would be here to pick us up."

"I swear, if I had my alchemy…" Ed grumbled as he got to his feet. Perhaps he would turn said wrench into something less painful. A lot of metal shavings, perhaps…

"WINRY, HONEY!" a loud voice called, sending Edward into a bout of shudders. He did not even have to turn around to know the obnoxiously loud voice was _right behind him_. "DAH-LING, OVER HERE!"

"Did someone call me?" a Xingese prince queried happily as he landed on the man who had just regained his footing. Ed's chin slammed into the concrete once more, and his temper was wearing thin.

"NO ONE CALLED YOU, YOU LARD-BUTT!" Ed screeched as he attempted to throw the prince off of him. Such an action only resulted in a knife to the back of his head.

"You will treat the Emperor with respect," Lan Fan growled from behind. "He has travelled a great distance to visit this land, and violence against the crowd will not be tolerated.

"Oh?" Mr. Garfiel chimed in, having heard the conversation. "All the way from Xing? Dah-ling, you must be _exhausted_! How about the Elrics take you around while Winry-chan and I do the maintenance on your sweet wife's arm?"

"GET OFF OF ME! AND I AM _NOT_—"

"That's a _wonderful_ idea, Mr. Garfiel!" Winry exclaimed, cutting her husband off with a smile. Ed was practically breathing fire by now. "Though our eldest has quite the interest in automail. Perhaps he should come with us to see Lan Fan's arm?"

"I OBJECT—!"

"That's a _fabulous_ idea, Winry-chan!" the man sang, instantly gathering up the eldest Elric child, whose face became a light at the opportunity to see some of the fascinating mechanical machinations. "Be sure you boys behave, all right? And say hello to the Elric prince if you get the chance~!"

"NO! DON'T LEAVE ME WITH—"

"Too late, Ed-kun," Ling laughed as he chewed on yet another slab of meat. "They're already gone."

"HOW DID YOU ALREADY EAT THAT MUCH?!" Edward shouted, eyeing the ever-growing pile of dishes right beside the Xingese Emperor. The black-haired man simply laughed airily as he chomped on yet another piece of food.

"It's not just me, you're paying for your daughter's food, too," Ling pointed out, watching the younger of the Elric siblings chew contentedly on a salad. Edward was certain his daughter would eye the cookies ne—

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M PAYING?!" Ed screeched as he turned to Ling, only to meet with thin air. Thin. Hot. Air.

"Sir, the young man that just left told me to give you this," a waiter stated, appearing out of nowhere. Edward's jaw dropped when he saw the amount that his not-really-a-friend-but-more-of-a-leech had eaten.

"LIIIING!" the man yelled, resisting the urge to rip the bill up right then and there. However, Ed knew better, and doing such a thing would result in him having to do dirty dishes for hours… or worse.

"Daddy, quit thinking of traumatizing things. Mamma's gonna hit you with Stanly again," Ed's daughter warned. The former alchemist came back to the present, only to grumble about how horrible Rush Valley was, how hot it was, and how Winry had the _gall_ to _name_ her stupid wrench.

So distracted was he that he quite forgot the welcoming committee that was there every single time he and his family came into Rush Valley.

"GET HIM!" one of the automail mechanics cried, and Ed soon found that he could not move. His clothes had been cast aside before he could protest and soon anyone and everyone were "ooh"ing and "aah"ing over the quality of Winry's work. In the distance, he could hear a certain Xingese prince laughing, a certain mechanic calling everything "dah-ling", and a certain son of his being enthralled with automail.

"I HATE RUSH VALLEEEEEEYYYY!" Edward Elric wailed.

* * *

><p>"So…" Winry started, looking at the bill, to her husband who was covered in bruises, to their daughter who was happily eating another salad.<p>

"Don't even ask…" Ed growled, his voice hoarse from all of the yelling and shouting that had happened during the day. He was currently changing to get ready for the night and praying that he could return to Riesmpool soon. "Don't. Even—"

"Ed?" Winry asked, seeing that her husband had stopped changing. He was patting his pockets with an increasingly worried expression. "What's wrong?"

"Paninya stole my watch again…" Ed muttered darkly. Winry did her best not to laugh at her husband's misfortune as he groaned. "I really hate Rush Valley…"

"Don't worry," Winry managed. "She'll return it at the train station tomorrow, she always does."

"Do we have to come here every year…?" Ed asked, a pleading tone in his voice. He begged Winry with his eyes until she decided to oblige to his request. She sighed.

"No," she sighed, but did not let her husband celebrate in his victory for too long as she added, "We have to come every other month. You know that."

The sound of Edward Elric's defeated whimpering could be heard until midnight, when Winry finally decided to knock him out using Stanly, her trusty wrench.

_**Ed: I am not such a wimp.**_

_**Winry: *hits him with Stanly***_

_**Ed: OUCH! JEEZ, WOMAN!**_

_**AmyNChan: O.O**_

_**Winry: What is it?**_

_**AmyNChan: You guys act like Bou-san and Ayako from Ghost Hunt... XDDD Only more of friends than that. XDDD**_

_**Ed: I feel sorry for the guy... But what was the challenge?**_

_**AmyNChan: Yes, I was challenged to write a fic that would make people laugh, while I challenged bodyguard-san (SPRITN Chapter 47), aka Fanatic24 to write a very serious oneshot to make her readers cry. XD**_

_**Winry: Why is that difficult?**_

_**AmyNChan: Because normally I write serious things, meant to pull at heartstrngs and convey a deeper meaning or just because I'm mad. XD Meanwhile, her normal style is to make everyone smile and laugh. I personally enjoy her current fanfic, Casper High Magic, a crossover between Danny Phantom and Harry Potter. XD**_

_**Ed: So why are you telling us this?**_

_**AmyNChan: I want ya'lls to compare the two. There's no real winner or loser, we just wanna see if we accomplished the challenge. Just mosey on over to her profile and read her half—will be out for sure by tomorrow—and tell us if we did all right. XD**_

_**Winry: What was the author's name again?**_

_**FANATIC24**_

_**AmyNChan: This work?**_

_**Winry: Yup.**_

_**AmyNChan: All right! So you guys know your mission! Did I make you laugh? Did she make you sad? Tell us in the respective reviews please! AND HAPPY HALLOWEEN!**_


End file.
